The Saturday Diaries vol. 7

My phone read 4:48 when I looked at it this morning. The sun is slowly coming up, a blue sky is visible through the blinds, and I have been trying to process all that has been swirling in my head and my heart. Week two of establishing new habits has gone better than I'd hoped. Morning has brought little resistance to writing, and afternoons have brought a fierce guardedness of my reading time before re-engaging with communal life. I am tracking my expenses and my spending is aligning with my values.  

And yet, a 4:48 wake-up time is indicative of something, isn't it? Although my body tends towards maintaining its weekday wake-up time, usually after a quick bathroom trip, I'm able to pull covers firmly back over my shoulders and sink gratefully into the extra sleep. This morning, though, the same thoughts kept darting through my mind, the same situation turned over and analysed from a hundred different angles. Rather than allowing my mind to grind frustratingly against something it was clearly unable to compute, I decided to get up and stretch out my quiet time. It was a good decision, even if it didn't quite put my restless mind at ease. 

I'm hoping the day will bring with it some sense of resolution, and even if it doesn't, a sense of peace about the lack of resolution. 

Reading: My month of re-reading has turned out to be such a delight so far. I finished Someday, Someday, Maybe (a treat) and returned to Early Morning Riser, a novel from 2021 by Katherine Heiny. Gosh, I love this book. The setting (small-town Michigan), the characterisation (oh-so-specific and hilarious), and the dialogue (quippy) all contribute to making it one of my all-time faves. Having laughed my way through Early Morning Riser, I decided to turn my attention to the more serious, but no less delightful, Brooklyn, by Colm Tóibin. Eilis' grit and determination make her, in my estimation, a most admirable literary heroine, and I'm loving wandering through Brooklyn with her again. 

Listening to: The Bible Project's series on the Chaos Dragon. The most recent episode, on Jael, Deborah and Sisera, is a mind-bending look at one of the gnarlier accounts in the book of Judges. From that same episode, I was put onto the work of Poor Bishop Hooper, in particular, their Psalms project. I only listened to a few last night, but was pretty blown away by the quality and fidelity to the themes and phrasing of each Psalm. 

Enjoying: Spring. The cherry blossoms are out, the birds are chirping and I could not be happier about it. I'm no longer waking up in the dark, and the extended daylight is vastly improving my joy in the day-to-day. Bring on the rest of the season! 

Books/September 2022

My favourite book of the month

Little Town on the Prairie

Laura Ingalls Wilder

Laura and her family are now settled in De Smet and Laura finds herself venturing into town more for work and school. Although nervous at first about interacting with new people, Laura learns to hold her own among her peers, and it's lovely to see her grow into herself more in this book. The townspeople also engage in a variety of town events including spelling bees and musical performances, most of which I found charming. The idea of building a town from scratch isn't something I have engaged with much, so I was grateful to have the opportunity to do so with this book. 

(Note: Little Town on the Prairie includes the most overt and (in my opinion) distressing instance of racism in the whole Little House series. I don't think that should put anyone off reading it and/or reading it to their children, but I would think carefully about how to discuss it with kids.) 

These Happy Golden Years
Laura Ingalls Wilder

In this second-to-last instalment of the Little House series, Laura begins her teaching career. Having observed her recitation at a local town event, a school examiner grants Laura a teacher's certificate just before her sixteenth birthday. Laura begins teaching almost immediately at a school well beyond De Smet. Although it's heartbreaking for Laura to be so far from her family, it does give a certain eligible bachelor the chance to be gallant and squire her back and forth between home and school each weekend... I loved watching Laura blossom into womanhood and look forward to a future forged on her own alongside Almanzo. 

The First Four Years

Laura Ingalls Wilder 

The tone of this book is markedly different to its predecessors and its introduction explains why. The book is in draft form and was published posthumously in 1971. Although lacking some of the sparkle of the edited volumes, I valued Laura's brutal honesty about the trials of agricultural life. She and Almanzo have discussions about whether farming is a sustainable and desirable lifestyle, while weathering storms and embracing hardship with their usual gusto. As the last official book Little House series, I think this book provides a 'grown-up' perspective on the frontier life and was a fitting conclusion to Laura and Manly's story. 

Back to the Prairie

Melissa Gilbert

Rounding out my three months of Little House content was this lovely memoir penned by none other than the TV Laura Ingalls herself: Melissa Gilbert. Melissa chronicles her and her husband's decision to purchase a fixer-upper "little house" in the Catskills and slowly turn it into a home. They wind up spending the early days of the pandemic there and, despite encountering challenges, thrive in their isolated little home. The similarities between Gilbert's voice in the series and on the audiobook really lent to putting me in a Little House Frame of mind and I thoroughly enjoyed picturing Laura, all grown up, traipsing around her garden with her chickens. 

Nickel and Dimed

Barbara Ehrenreich

I finally got around to reading this Barbara Ehrenreich classic in the week that she sadly died. I've loved what little I've previously read of her work (Living With a Wild God), and was excited to dive into her in-depth journalistic experiment in which she undertook low-paying jobs in various US states to see whether it was possible to eke out a living on them. Spoiler alert: it was not. At every point, Ehrenreich finds herself confronted by seemingly insurmountable challenges, none of which can be solved by the pittance she is paid, and indignity marks almost every job she takes. Her portrayal of the people she works with is deeply humanising and powerful, and I closed the book having many of my assumptions challenged, with a renewed commitment to the idea that all workers are deserving of dignity. 

Anne of Avonlea

L. M. Montgomery

What can I say? It was time to return to Avonlea for a little bit and this trip back to Prince Edward Island was even more delightful than usual. On the cusp of my own teaching career, I found Anne's early adventures in teaching all the more endearing, and looked forward to hopefully shaping my own students in many of the same ways she does. I also really needed all of the physical descriptions of nature that the Anne books typically provide. As I am currently sitting through a very wet spring, it was lovely to experience the varied hues of Prince Edward Island along with Anne. 

Taste

Stanley Tucci

Taste was my second audiobook of the month and one that left me feeling very hungry anytime I drove anywhere. Stanley Tucci is an avid eater and cook, with a lifetime obsession for food that began in childhood. He chronicles growing up in an Italian household in which his mother was an excellent cook, moving to Italy for a year in his adolescence, and for subsequent trips later on, and cooking for his family during the pandemic. Each chapter contains mouth-watering descriptions of food, with recipes strewn throughout. I will say that at times Tucci came off as being a little too aware of his charms, which was off-putting, but overall I still enjoyed the book. 

Reservoir 13

Jon MacGregor

I have had Reservoir 13 on my to-read list ever since I heard Jon MacGregor interviewed on an episode of Literary Friction years ago. When I found a copy in an op-shop a few months ago, I grabbed it and waited for the chance to dive in. That chance came this month and all I can say is that this book was not what I was expecting, in the best way. The story opens with a shocking event - a teenage girl goes missing in a small town and the community is left reeling. Time passes, and life goes on in the village: people leave and arrive, seasons change, annual celebrations are observed. All the while, you are left wondering what happened to the girl, and well, I won't say anything further on that front. I loved the quiet power of this book and how much it dignified all aspects of communal life - it was absolutely beautiful. 

Quiet

Susan Cain

This book made such an impact on me, but, true to its name, in such a quiet way that I almost forgot to include it on this list! I have been meaning to read Susan Cain's book for years, and finally picked it up on the cusp of turning 26. All I can say is, if you are an introvert and have ever felt bad about the fact, read this book. I kept putting it down, slightly teary, and thinking, it's not just me. I simultaneously felt seen and vindicated by all the incredible research Cain shares in this book. I, too, have felt pressure to be an extrovert in almost every area of my life, and particularly when that pressure has come from family or close friends, it's been very painful. Cain shows that not only is being an introvert okay, it can be incredibly helpful in every area of life, from relationships to career. If you're reading this as an extrovert and feeling slightly nervous, rest assured that there is no extrovert-bashing in Quiet, and I came away from it grateful for people who sit at all locations on the introvert-extrovert spectrum. Basically, whether you're an introvert or extrovert or somewhere in between, I think you should read this book. 

Huia Come Home

Jay Ruka

This was our book club pick for the month and a very eye-opening look at the history of Christianity in New Zealand. Jay Ruka is Māori himself, and has gone on a journey to more deeply explore his roots, particularly as they relate to both his indigenous and Christian identities. I was floored by some of the stories he recounted of how Christianity spread among Māori iwi (tribes) after the gospel was translated into te reo Māori (the Māori language). I was also grieved when reading about, as was the case in so many places, how missionaries did not uphold Māori rights and dignity in so many ways. Although there were things Ruka advocated that I disagreed with, I nonetheless appreciated his insights and depth of research into the complicated history of the gospel in Aotearoa. 

Culture Making 

Andy Crouch

This was my favourite book of the month and one that I have slowly been making my way through for several months now. I first encountered Andy Crouch on a podcast (shocker!) and was so impressed by the depth and clarity of his thinking that I immediately went hunting for his books. Culture Making is an incredible treatise on what Christians' relationship to culture should be. Crouch convincingly argues that we shouldn't primarily critique or consume culture (although there is space for both of those things, sometimes) but rather cultivate and create culture. I took copious notes throughout and felt convicted in the best way about what my posture towards culture should be. I want to be a culture maker, as that is who I was created to be. 

Books/August 2022

Not pictured: The Long Winter 

I looked at my book list for August and was shocked to discover that I have read fourteen books! Much of this total has been made up by the wonderful Little House books I have been devouring, but it's still a nice surprise to discover that I have been quite fruitful in my reading endeavours this month. In the interest of time (and because I genuinely don't think I would get this post up otherwise), I have decided to write one-sentence reviews of each of the books. 

Farmer Boy 

Laura Ingalls Wilder

Not a fan of children engaging in hard labour at the age of 9, but still a fascinating insight into 'Manly's' early life. 

Little House on the Prairie

Laura Ingalls Wilder

The book in which my respect for Pa Ingalls really took off. 

On the Banks of Plum Creek

Laura Ingalls Wilder

Nellie Oleson deserved it. 

By the Shores of Silver Lake

Laura Ingalls Wilder

Held my breath for the Ingalls to get their claim!

The Long Winter

Laura Ingalls Wilder

My favourite of the series so far - made me grateful for absolutely everything that I have. 

Anastasia Again!

Lois Lowry

Anastasia and her family's move to the suburbs was a delightful part of my month. 

Heating & Cooling

Beth Ann Fennelly

Devoured it in a single sitting - a hilarious must, must, must read. 

The Hand That First Held Mine

Maggie O'Farrell

I cannot say enough good things about how Maggie O'Farrell writes - loved this one. 

Intimacies

Katie Kitumara

A spare, but gorgeous novel exploring intimacy in all its forms. 

Flying Solo

Linda Holmes

I hate to say this, but I struggled to make it through this one - a disappointment after Evvie Drake Starts Over. 

Mere Christianity

C. S. Lewis

A classic for a reason! 

God on Mute

Pete Greig

A wonderful book on unanswered prayer that had me weeping almost every time I opened it; I'm grateful for how God has used it in my life. 

Purity and Danger

Mary Douglas

A fascinating look at pollution and taboo, written from the perspective of an anthropologist in the sixties. 

Ecology of a Cracker Childhood

Janisse Ray

I love any form of nature writing and this book, with its devotion to Georgia and its land, did not disappoint. 

Books: September 2019

Anne of Green Gables, Anne of Avonlea, Anne of the Island, Anne of Windy Willows 
L. M. Montgomery

On my recent trip to Christchurch I rifled through the boxes of books in my parents' garage to find the Anne series and bring them with me to Auckland. Somehow I never feel like I am truly home without them. It's been a few years since I last read the series in full so I decided to go right back to the beginning and work my way through. I had forgotten what it feels like to come back to Prince Edward Island - or at least the PEI L.M. Montgomery's prose conjures up in my mind. Anne, too, is such a radiant, kindred soul - I love her in all her iterations. It was so much fun to go back to that fateful first encounter with Gilbert in the school hall, and to remember what it was like for her to teach at Avonlea school while she saved to go to Redmond. I love her when she is dying her hair green and I love her when she finally, finally realises that Gilbert has been the one for her all along. Anne is one of my literary northern stars; I come back to her when I feel things are going awry and I need some kinship and a sense of direction to keep going. I'm going to spend October seeing her through to motherhood.

I'm Proud of You
Tim Madigan

I feel like Mr Rogers has been everywhere recently and I think that this is very good for the world. Lillie passed this slim little volume onto me earlier this year and I finally got around to reading it this month - I'm so glad I did. Tim Madigan tells the story of the friendship that came out a few trips he made to interview Mr Rogers in the nineties. Madigan was initially sceptical about Mr Rogers (I have to keep calling him that!) and expected to uncover dark secrets about his off-screen persona but instead found that the gentle television host was even kinder in person than on screen. Madigan and Mr Rogers strike up a friendship that sees Madigan through a difficult patch in his marriage and into a kinder, brighter phase of his life. The two remain friends, communicating through letters, emails and the occasional trip until Mr Rogers' death in 2003. Mr Rogers' kindness and his influence on not just Madigan but everyone around him permeates every page in this book. Read it and marvel at what it is to be a truly kind person.

My Friend Dahmer
Derf Backderf

Again, Lillie is responsible for passing this great read onto me. A tip for getting good book recommendations: live with someone who reads! (And has similar taste to you) Backderf gives us eerie insight into Jeffrey Dahmer's neglected and lonely adolescence. Dahmer was disregarded by his parents in the midst of their messy relationship and completely isolated at school. Backderf shares personal stories of his interactions with Dahmer and how they shed light on his later actions. His illustrations are well-suited to the story he is telling and his writing is effectively concise. If it is at all possible to pity someone who did the depraved things Dahmer did, Backderf gets us pretty close.

84 Charing Cross Road
Helen Hanff

I feel so silly admitting this, but I didn't realise that this was a series of real letters until after I had finished it! I can't believe such a sweet story with its charming coterie of characters actually existed. Helene is a sharp, feisty narrator and the relationships she forms with her transatlantic friends are truly heartwarming. I've heard that there is a sequel to the book and I'm going to look into picking it up soon! (And for any who are curious: this is a definite pre-cursor to The Guernsey Literary and Potato Peel Pie Society.)

One Day
David Nicholls

I'll admit that I read this one just to say that I have read it... it's not always a good reason to read a book, but in this case, I'm glad that my questionable reasoning got me there. I found David Nicholls' concept so original and the story of Emma and Dexter utterly compelling. As was the case when I read Wuthering Heights earlier this year, I was less interested in the romantic aspect of the story and more interested in seeing how Emma and Dexter's lives (Emma's in particular) unfolded over the course of the book. I found Dexter uninspiring and at times abhorrent, but Emma's story captivated me throughout. I related to her struggle in the post-Arts degree life (a little too much at times) and found her graceful navigation of her twenties and thirties hugely encouraging. All I can say is, this one's a classic for a reason, friends. Get yourselves to it if you haven't already.

Books: May 2019

I'm doing a new thing this month: one-line reviews and a rating out of five. It's definitely an artistic challenge and not at all due to tiredness/laziness.

Brave New World
Aldous Huxley

A classic that holds up. 4/5

Home Fire
Kamila Shamsie

This made me uncomfortable in the best way. 4/5

Crazy Rich Asians
Kevin Kwong

Detailed, witty and fun - even better than the movie. 4/5

Interpreter of Maladies
Jhumpa Lahiri

I am so sad to no longer be reading this book. 5/5

Woman World 
Aminder Dhaliwal

Hilarious glimpses into a man-less world. 5/5

The River
Peter Heller

A gorgeous adventure story with a sinister undercurrent. 5/5

Family Trust
Kathy Wang

Meh. 2.5/5

Feel Free 
Zadie Smith

Insightful and searingly intelligent - Zadie at her best. 5/5

Books that didn't make the photo:

Celebration of Discipline
Richard Foster

An enormously helpful, convicting introduction to the spiritual disciplines. 5/5

The Story of Antigone
Ali Smith

The story of Antigone for children (and adults with a limited ability to grasp Greek tragedies). 4/5

Books: April 2018

The Reading Cure

Laura Freeman

I first heard about this book on (where else?) an episode of The High Low. Laura Freeman was interviewed for an author segment and her lovely, intelligent manner prompted me to get my hands on a copy of her book. The Reading Cure is really unlike any book I've read before. Laura bravely and warmly shares the story of her recovery from anorexia; a recovery put into motion and sustained by all kinds of literature. She reads her way through classics, war stories, and travel fiction, paying attention to the sustaining and unifying powers of food as she does so. Laura doesn't shy away from the grim realities of anorexia; describing the toll the disease took on her body and mind in stark and sobering terms; but the novel is tinged with hope throughout. Books are her lifeline and the sharp-witted, adventure-going, well-fed characters in them her pointers to a better path. The book is not instructional by any means; Laura doesn't prescribe reading as a panacea for all life's ills and openly admits that she will likely struggle with her anorexia for the rest of her life. Nevertheless, it is redemptive, and I closed it with deep satisfaction and a long list of new books to read - really the ideal outcome from reading any book!

Free Food for Millionaires
Min Jin Lee

Remember when I read Pachinko earlier this year and loved it? Min Jin Lee has further won her way into my heart and mind with her first novel, Free Food for Millionaires. Shockingly, this book is even lengthier that Pachinko, but aside from worrying that my monthly book count was going to be lower than normal (not that it's been very high recently), I didn't mind. Free Food for Millionaires tells the story of Casey Han (and the supporting cast of her life) as she navigates her way through post-college life as an uncertain, fairly naïve but nonetheless competent Korean woman. Casey lives her life in the upper echelons of New York society without ever fully belonging there; this dissonance inevitably results in unhappiness. I found the writing style of Free Food for Millionaires very different to Pachinko, although not in an unpleasant way. Lee writes with as much searing intelligence and honesty as ever, and the themes of family, class and identity are just as present here as in her second novel, albeit in different ways. Min Jin Lee has become one of my favourite contemporary writers and I look forward to savouring more of her work in coming years.

Books: March 2018

Everything I Know About Love
Dolly Alderton

Anyone who knows me knows that my true podcast love is The High Low, a weekly news and pop-culture podcast hosted by British journalists Pandora Sykes and Dolly Alderton. Dolly released her very first book - a memoir - in January this year, and lets just say I found a way around my self-imposed book ban to get my hands on a copy. (I forced my brother to buy it for me as a gift 'from Thailand' where he was earlier this year. I have no shame.) The illicit effort was more than worth it - Dolly's book was a balm to my world-weary soul. She writes about boys, friends, and (trying to) grow up with such open-heartedness and humour. I recognised my actions and (most often harmful) patterns of thinking in so many of her stories. We may have grown up on opposite ends of the earth but it turns out that adolescence and the ensuing years are universally heartbreaking and refining. The thing - or people, rather - that sustained Dolly through these years are the same people who have sustained me: my best friends. (I even have my very own Farly - Rebekah. Those who've read the book will get what I mean by that!). My friends are everything to me; they have walked me through the best and worst seasons of my life just as I have walked them through theirs. At the end of the day, everything I have learned about love has come from my family and friends and reading Dolly's book made me realise just how grateful I am for that.

Saints for All Occasions
J Courtney Sullivan

J Courtney Sullivan has been one of my favourite contemporary writers ever since I read Commencement back in high school. She writes skilfully about complex friendships and family relationships - all the themes I love. Saints for All Occasions has all the elements of a story I would love: links to Ireland, immigration, family conflict. But... the way Sullivan put these elements together fell flat for me. The first half of the book was fantastic; Sullivan sets the scene and tone of the novel by outlining two sisters' move from Ireland to the United States. The second half, though building towards something, progressed far too slowly and that 'something' that loomed large over the story turned out to be quite anti-climatic. I don't know if this was what Sullivan intended with her novel; maybe the point was to see that small things as well as big can lead to discord within a family. Overall, though, I was left a little disappointed that the story didn't grip me the way her previous books have. Oh well - onward to her next book!

A Wrinkle in Time
Madeleine L'Engle

Of course this book made it on here just in time for the film adaptation by Ava Duvernay which, truth be told, I still haven't seen. (And, after hearing some reviews, maybe don't need to see?) A Wrinkle in Time is so far outside of my usual genre it's not even funny, but with my literary heroine/spiritual mother Madeleine L'Engle at the helm, it's a book I've wound up loving. I empathise with Meg and her impatience; I, too, am prone to angry rants when things aren't progressing as I would like them. The story is, of course, fantastical, being a science fiction novel. The members of the Murry family travel to strange and frightening lands through 'wrinkles' in time; accompanied by mystical beings at some points, utterly deserted at others. I love Madeleine L'Engle's quotations from literature and scripture strewn throughout; so many of her favourite writers are familiar to me from reading the Crosswicks Journals. I understand why A Wrinkle in Time has remained a favourite all these years; its adventurous heart is universally appealing and its truths are timeless. I hope to share them with my own children someday.

Books: February 2018

So, you may notice that this post is a little sparser in comparison to last month's reading post - suffice to say that things have picked up pace in my life recently. I'm hoping to get a little more reading done next month, though, so stay tuned! 

Pachinko

Min Jin Lee

This book went entirely undetected by me for the entirety of last year... until it landed on a New York Times 'Best Books of 2017' list where I finally, mercifully, discovered it. I read a number of really good books in January, but it's been a while since I've read such a hefty novel that engrossed me from start to finish. From the first chapter, I was hooked on Lee's simple but profound writing style -- highly conducive to fast page turning. Pachinko tells the story of a young Korean woman who marries a Christian missionary and sets sail for Japan. It chronicles their hardships and joys in the foreign and often hostile country, and traces the family's generations down all the way through to the present day. I was deeply moved by the struggles the family faced as they found their footing in Japan; I was rooting for them to succeed every step of the way. The long entangled history between Korea and Japan was also something I was previously unaware of and I appreciated Lee's meticulous research on the topic interwoven throughout the story. Min Jin Lee has become one of my favourite authors with this gorgeous book and I can't wait to read more of her work.

When Dimple Met Rishi

Sandhya Menon

Last month's book club pick was a heavy one, and so when my friend L suggested something lighter for this month I wholeheartedly agreed and mentioned this delightful book to her. I saw Sandhya Menon on a panel in Portland (are you sensing a theme here?) and was intrigued by her quest to write good, rom-com YA featuring Indian characters. I started tearing my way through it this last Saturday morning, curled up on the couch in my pyjamas, laughing out loud at Menon's witty and brazen characters. It was really interesting for me to read a book based around the experiences of Indian teens (I haven't read many before) and though I found myself nodding along to some similarities in parenting styles or showing proper respect to the millions of member of your extended family, I was also struck by the many differences in these teens' experiences of being Indian. Some of them were cultural, others religious and others perhaps simply because they were American-born whereas I moved to New Zealand as a child. Regardless of these, I thought it was a smart, funny romance which managed to both uphold and subvert various conventions of the rom-com genre. Sometimes a little YA is what I need to unwind from the stress of academic reading and this one definitely hit the spot!

Stay tuned for March - in which I may even writing something other than a reading-recap post! 

Books: January 2018

Surprised by Oxford

Carolyn Weber

This is my third time through this gorgeous memoir (in under two years, which really says something about how much I love it) and as always, it didn't disappoint. I popped this one in my bag for my flight home from Vancouver and though it couldn't quite keep my sadness at bay (very little would have done that at this point) it was a welcome distraction and Carolyn Weber a welcome companion as I traversed land and sea to return to the bottom of the globe. Caro's honesty and searing intelligence pleasantly shock me every time I return to this memoir; I love the literary references strewn throughout and the questions she grapples with as she takes steps towards faith are still questions I grapple with well over a decade into my walk with Jesus. TDH remains my ideal for a man (read it: you'll understand why) and the Christian community that gathers around Caro as she journeys towards faith is the kind of community that I dream of being a part of and contributing to. Thoughtful, funny and gut-wrenchingly beautiful, Surprised by Oxford is by far my favourite account of coming to faith.

The Essex Serpent

Sarah Perry

Full disclosure: this book sat on my shelf (where it received a lot of compliments on its beautiful cover) for several months before I was able to make it anywhere beyond the first few chapters. Once I did, however, I was hooked. Set in small-town Essex (which, unbeknownst to me until the time of reading, is a county in England), the story chronicles the unlikely friendship between a wealthy, widowed woman who worships at the altar of science, and a slightly-prickly parson. The two are drawn together by chance and discover they have much to discuss and argue over including the existence of the mysterious Essex serpent, a myth which has resurrected itself in light of various spooky and inexplicable events in the town of Aldwinter. I loved losing myself in the story of the unlikely duo and the supporting cast of their lives, and came away more convinced than ever that faith and reason can and should coexist; at the very least, it makes for delightful, thought-provoking literature.

Salvage the Bones

Jesmyn Ward

This book is as striking as its title and will linger with me for a long while. Jesmyn Ward is a stunning writer and her words sliced me to shreds in the best possible way. The book recounts twelve days in the lives of a family in Mississippi in the lead-up to and during Hurricane Katrina. I cared so deeply about the fate of each and every one of the characters I literally held my breath when Katrina hit; certain I couldn't bear it if something happened to any one of them. I'll end this with one of my favourite passages from the book, in which the author memorably sums up the destructive power of Katrina:

"Her chariot was a storm so great and black the Greeks would say it was harnessed to dragons. She was the murderous mother who cut us to the bone but left us alive, left us naked and bewildered as wrinkled newborn babies, as blind puppies, as sun-starved newly hatched baby snakes. She left us a dark Gulf and salt-burned land. She left us to learn to crawl. She left us to salvage. Katrina is the mother we will remember until the next mother with the large, merciless hands, committed to blood, comes." 

Everything I Never Told You

Celeste Ng

Everything I Never Told You was my book club's pick for this month and I'm so glad to have finally read something by this amazing author. Ng chronicles the lives of the Lee family, in which James, a Chinese American and Marilyn, his white wife, fall in love and raise three children in a college town in Ohio. The narrative is primarily structured around the death of the Lee's beloved middle daughter, Lydia, but the story weaves back and forth between past and present, unveiling secrets each member of the family has long kept from the others, with devastating effects on them all. I was deeply saddened by just how out of place the Lees felt in their town -- they were among only a handful of Chinese families and the children were the only ones of mixed parentage. Navigating a world divided along racial lines is still not easy, but reading about just how difficult it was for the Lees pioneering their way in the 1960s was heartbreaking. (NB: I'm aware that this is a fictional account of one family's experience, but there is nothing here to suggest to me that what the Lees went through is at all dissimilar to what a real family living in their town, at that time, would have gone through.) Celeste Ng has definitely been put on my radar (years after she was put on everyone else's!) and I can't wait to get my hands on a copy of her latest, Little Fires Everywhere.

The Voyeurs

Gabrielle Bell

I first heard about Gabrielle Bell when she was on a panel I attended at Portland's annual book festival last year. In person, Bell is somewhat shy and reserved, but her answers piqued my interest enough to want to try out some of her books. Were it not for their significant weight, I would have bought one to take home with me at the festival itself, but as fate would have it, the very first book I saw when I walked back into my local library in Christchurch was a copy of The Voyeurs. I picked it up immediately and slowly thumbed my way through Bell's adventures across the globe. She has done some amazing things and met some incredible, creative people but the aspect of the book I loved the most was her own internal monologue. Her internal annotations of the situations she finds herself in were funny and at at times very relatable. Bell is very aware of her own neuroses and is constantly reflecting on how she appears to other people -- something I, too, find myself doing a lot, perhaps to my detriment. The Voyeurs is only the second graphic memoir I have ever read, and I definitely find myself wanting to pick up more in the coming year.

I Was Told There'd Be Cake

Sloane Crosley

I read Sloane Crosley's second essay collection How Did You Get This Number? after finding it by chance in the literary non-fiction section (swoon) of the Strand in New York last year. It is one of the happiest book accidents I have had in a while -- I absolutely loved Crosley's open, intelligent and hilarious writing style. Her essays are punchy and delightfully fun to read. It only made sense, then, that when I was in Portland's Powell's late last year, to pick up her first essay collection, I Was Told There'd Be Cake. Crosley's writing delighted me as much as it did the first time around; stories about moving apartments, volunteering at the butterfly exhibit at the Museum of Natural History and being the maid of honour at a distant childhood friend's wedding had me laughing out loud and reflecting on my own friendships and key life experiences. Crosley has a third book of essays, Look Alive Out There, coming out in April. Needless to say, it's been added to my book wishlist and I'll report back soon.

Books: March 2017

Hungry Heart

Jennifer Weiner

I picked this memoir up from a local independent bookstore that was having a 50% off relocation sale. Although the shelves were pretty sparse by the time I got there, this book's pretty blue cover caught my attention and once I saw Mindy Kaling's endorsement on the back, I was sold. I went into it not really knowing what to expect, but I really, really enjoyed this book. At almost 400 pages, it's a pretty lengthy memoir, but one that absorbed me from beginning to end. Jennifer Weiner is funny, heartfelt and so, so clever; I took an enormous amount away from her story. She writes about an impressive (and often heart-breaking) array of things: her broken family, her love of books, her struggle with weight, her path to career success. Some things I could relate to directly -- others I couldn't -- which is of course inevitable when reading one person's life story. There was so much in here that I think any woman can relate to, though. She has very important things to say finding career success, fighting to have a right relationship with your body and not conforming to what our society expects of women. She also made me reconsider (or at least re-evaluate) my aversion to popular fiction, and I have no doubt that I will be picking up one of her other books when I need a lighter read in the coming months. All in all, I would highly recommend this funny, well-written memoir -- it's been one of my favourite reads this year. 

Present Over Perfect

Shauna Niequist

*Sigh* It really disappoints me to write what I'm about to, friends, but I'm going to try and graciously say what I think anyway. If you know me well, you will know that I love Shauna Niequist. Cold Tangerines is a book that will stick with me all my days; it was and always will be one of my favourites. Though I didn't like Bittersweet or Bread and Wine quite as much, I still appreciated what Shauna had to say and counted myself among her loyal devotees. I say all of this to give you an indicator of how hard it is for me to now say this: I really did not like this book. Shauna's latest collection of essays chronicles her personal journey from being obsessed with perfection to simply being present in her everyday life. She spent a few years overhauling many aspects of her perfection-focused life and it brought her into a place of deep, meaningful living. This overall theme is not my problem with the book; but there are two aspects of it I found deeply troubling. Firstly, I was shocked by how little God was mentioned in Shauna's writing. It may as well have been a secular self-discovery book in the vein of Wild or Eat, Pray, Love. I don't think there is anything wrong with these books, but I do think there is a serious problem when Christian authors start churning them out. Are we saying that Jesus, the one who has saved us, has no more to offer us than the PCT or a few therapy sessions? Secondly, if this was the topic she felt called to write about, she could have done it in a much shorter volume. What could have been covered in a few chapters is fleshed out in a painfully self-absorbed way in an entire book. There was so much arbitrary repetition of the same thing: My life was overwhelming. I needed connection. I found it by completely overhauling my previous way of living. I guess I should say here that the book wasn't completely terrible. I really enjoyed the last section, 'Throwing Candy', and I took to heart her admonition to live "with Christ" and not any of those ever-so-subtle variations we end up bending ourselves to. But the moments of enjoyment were rare for me. A Christian book about change without Christ at the centre is not one that I am interested in reading... and it may just be enough for me to part ways with Shauna for good.

The Last Battle

C.S. Lewis

*Sigh* If you're counting, this is my second sigh in this post, but this one is of a very different nature. I have finally reached the end of the Narnia series, friends, and I couldn't be more content. They are, in my opinion, about as close to perfect as a series can be. The Last Battle was not what I thought it would be, but in the best possible way. I went into it expecting a drawn-out battle that would span several chapters and end the series with a (perhaps literal) bang. What I got was infinitely better: a series of incredibly clever, beautiful illustrations about the way we set ourselves up to be gods and follow the wrong god, but how one day the One True God will show Himself in His full glory and put all our false gods to shame. (C.S. Lewis is much better at telling it than I am at summarising it) It was a book that showed me my longing for a heavenly home; that everything here is a dream at best and one day I will wake up to the most glorious reality. In short, it was the perfect ending to a perfect series.

I feel like I should add here that I read most of the Narnia series as an adult. Though I loved the movies growing up, I never got beyond The Lion the Witch and The Wardrobe in the book series. For those who find themselves in a similar situation, I would say this: please, please don't think that this series has nothing to offer you as an adult. The allegories and themes running the books are beautiful and sophisticated; C S lewis will have you mulling over his words long after you've turned the last page. And also? They are just fun. It is so much fun to escape with the Pevensies into a world that begins in a wardrobe: it's the stuff dreams are made of and I really think we should take any chance we can get to escape into a dream world for a few hours.

Jesus, Justice and Gender Roles
Kathy Keller

No Tim Keller this month, friends, but rather a well-written, compelling little volume on the topic of gender roles by his wife and co-founder of Redeemer Presbyterian Church, Kathy Keller. I've always loved reading the dedications and acknowledgements of Tim Keller's books; from them I gleaned that Kathy is an intelligent, hard-working woman whose influence on her husband and their ministry in New York is profound. My impressions were not wrong; Kathy has a lot to say in this book, and she says it with great clarity and grace. The topic of gender roles in the home and church is something I've struggled with since joining my current church a few years ago. Having grown up in a largely egalitarian context I found it shocking and even a little backward to have no female pastors/elders at my church. Although my views have softened somewhat in the 2+ years I've been there, I'm still not firmly in either the egalitarian or complementarian camp, which was why I bought this book for my Kindle a few weeks ago. Kathy makes a persuasive and coherent argument for the complementarian view, backed up by scripture at every point. She commands us to have the utmost respect for Scripture and bend ourselves to its authority - a command that I absolutely take on board. I can't say that I absolutely agree with the conclusions she reached, but I can say that I have added Kathy Keller to the list of complementarians whose views, arguments and words I deeply respect.

*****

I know I am very behind on these posts, friends, but they are coming! I love keeping track of what I've been reading and learning every month - life has just been extra full these last few weeks, the reasons for which may also be revealed in upcoming posts :) 

Books: February 2017

February has been a lighter month for reading. I'll admit that I caved a lot more to Parks and Recreation that I did to the (good!) books that were on my stack for this month. Despite my relative February laziness, I enjoyed most of the books that I read and am looking forward to getting back into the habit of reading again instead of watching TV.


Sons and Daughters of Ease and Plenty 
Ramona Ausubel

I discovered this book in my local library in the sweetest way. I first heard about it on one of my favourite podcasts and because the host and I have almost identical taste in books, I wanted to read it at her recommendation. Cut to a couple of months after I first heard about it and I was forlornly perusing the shelves at my library. A few different things had caused it to be a rough week and I was in desperate need of a pick-me up. For some reason, this particular title crossed my mind and just as I was debating whether or not to go and look it up (I had no idea who the author was), I spotted it on the shelf right in front of me. This little incident of God reading my thoughts was honestly the highlight of that week. 

Despite the sweet circumstances in which I discovered this book, the story itself was a bit of a disappointment. Ramona Ausubel has a really unique writers voice and there were some sentences in here that I really wanted to underline because they were so beautiful. I loved the character of Cricket, too -- of all the plights of all the characters in this book, hers was the most believable and the one that made me want to keep reading the most. Unfortunately, I couldn't say the same for Cricket's parents, who, after finding out that their family fortune is gone, unravel in ways that have a significant impact on one another and their children. I know my own background has influenced a lot of my thinking on money, and mine is such that I have never really been able to sympathise with the problems of the very rich. Some things I understand, sure: heartache and illness (both physical and mental). These things don't discriminate. But problems caused by the mismanagement of large amounts of money? These I do not understand. Maybe it's because I can't sympathise with this particular kind of character that I need to keep reading books in this genre ... or maybe I just need to leave it alone altogether. I have to say, this book definitely has me leaning in the latter direction.

Silence
Shusaku Endo

My pastor referenced this book in one of his sermons in January and since then it has been cropping up everywhere on my social media feeds. I was fascinated by the historical aspect of the novel; I had no idea that Japan had such a large Christian population in the 1600s. I guess this is something of a testament to the good job Japanese powers did in squelching Christianity entirely. I found this book to be beautifully written, poignant and incredibly pertinent. The story follows a young Catholic priest, Sebastian Rodrigues, who travels to Japan to care for the needs of the growing Japanese Christian population. Through all of his experiences, good and bad, the priest grapples with one overwhelming question: how can God be silent in the face of the agony of his people? Though I have never even come close to being persecuted for my faith, it's become impossible to avoid seeing suffering all across the world through media. Like the priest in this book, I wonder sometimes how long God will allow it to happen. I know that affliction is temporary and that earthly troubles purchase for the saints glory beyond their comprehension (2 Corinthians 4:16-18), but sometimes that can feel like a far-off comfort for an immediate horror. I closed this book feeling both encouraged and heavy-hearted; may God comfort the valiant saints who persevere for His name and glory, and may He come soon and put an end to all our suffering.

The Reason For God
Timothy Keller

Yes, I am continuing on my Tim Keller kick, and friends, this one was truly excellent. I've had it sitting on my shelf for almost two years and I'm so glad that I finally got around to it. The book is for seekers and sceptics but as someone who has been a Christian for a long time and who sometimes struggles to answer the complex questions people have about faith, I found it to be enormously helpful. The first section of the book provides answers to a few big questions that people often have about Christianity and the second is devoted to providing reasons for faith in Christ. One thing I always love about Tim Keller's books is that I am introduced to so many other men and women of faith when reading them. C.S. Lewis and Flannery O'Connor featured heavily in this one and they, along with many others, help Keller build his very compelling case for faith. I have to say, too, that although I initially bought this book in the hopes of being able to help my non-Christian friends understand my faith, I cannot overstate how much this book ended up helping me. I got to revisit the sweetest, simplest truths of the gospel; truths that can sometimes feel simplistic when you've been a Christian for over half your life. But that't the crazy thing about the gospel, isn't it? It's mind-blowingly simple. I am a great sinner and Christ is a great saviour. What a message that is!

The Girls
Emma Cline

Of all the books I read this month, this was the one I felt most conflicted about. This was my book club's second pick for the year; a book that received a lot of hype surrounding its release last year. I was intrigued by the premise -- it's the story of a girl who gets caught up in a Manson-esque cult -- so I was eager to find out for myself whether the book was worth all the hype. The verdict: maybe. At first I was quite annoyed by Emma Cline's writing style; she doesn't follow typical writing conventions all of the time and it took me a little while to get used to it. Her prose can also be quite flowery (unnecessarily so at some points, but that's just this girl's opinion) so initially that was a strike against her as well. After getting through a decent chunk, though, I got used to the style and started enjoying the story. Evie is a typical fourteen year old girl trying to figure out her place in the world in a body and being wracked with insecurity. She (perhaps stereotypically) falls in with the 'wrong crowd' as she's trying to figure things out, although in a more sinister twist, the wrong crowd turns out to be a commune with a charismatic psychopath at its centre. The plot builds compellingly to a climax and I shut the book thinking that Emma Cline knows how to tell a good story. That being said, some of the ideologies promoted in the book, along with my frustrations with Evie for making such bad choices didn't leave me feeling euphoric about the book overall. So, Emma Cline knows how to tell a story, but does it while promoting some questionable ideals. Worth the hype? I think it's best for you to read it and decide for yourself.

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On my stack for March: a biography of Amy Carmichael's life, some C.S. Lewis and Shauna Niequist's latest book, Present Over Perfect. What are you reading this month, friends? As always I'd love to hear from you!

Books: January 2017

This is the first year in a while that I haven't set myself a target number of books to get through for the year. There's a number of reasons for this -- it's partly because I think I read too many books last year and partly because I want to focus on producing good writing instead of just reading it.

Despite this, January has been a good month for reading and I read some amazing books to share my thoughts on.

The Silver Chair
C. S. Lewis

I know, I know -- I am very late to the Narnia game. I loved the movies as a kid, but didn't come to the books until my early teens and even then only made it through the first three books before (foolishly) moving on to other things. My family was gifted a beautiful hardcover edition of the series a couple of years ago and so last year I hauled it with me to my flat and made it through the first five books with utter delight. The Sliver Chair thrilled me just as much as the others did; adventures galore, quirky characters (Oh, Puddleglum!) and beautiful, eye-opening biblical allegories. I was particularly struck by Aslan's caution to Jill at the beginning of the book: "Child, perhaps you do not see quite as well as you think. But the first step is to remember." Jill had to repeat the words of Aslan over and over again to herself in order to not forget them. How much more do I need to repeat God's words over and over to myself? I've loved the books so much that it's a little bittersweet to be coming to the end of the series but I can't wait to get through The Last Battle and let you know what I thought.

The Handmaid's Tale 
Margaret Atwood

I didn't take English in my final year of high school but many of my friends who did studied this book. I remember being intrigued by its premise and made a mental note to read it at some point in the future. Fast forward two years -- I've read it and I am so glad that I did. Margaret Atwood's writing style is mesmerising and I cared so deeply about what happened to Offred and her counterparts. So many futuristic novels are too gory or too unrealistic but I understood completely how the rigid sect of Gilead came to control much of the world. I loved the final section of the book, too, when the earlier section is dissected as a firsthand historical account and we get to understand the context that little bit more. Overall, a great, quick read and one that'll definitely make me consider reading more of Margaret Atwood's writing.

Pride and Prejudice
Jane Austen

If you read this post, you'll know that a good portion of my January was just hard. What do I need in hard times? Comfort reading. Pride and Prejudice is such a comfort read for me. I've read it twice before but I was as enamoured with it the third time as I ever have been in the past. One thing I either realised anew or missed the last couple of times was that it's just so funny. I found myself laughing out loud so often at Mr. Collins and Mr. Bennet. Lizzie was delightful and relatable as she always is, and this time even more than in the past I found myself reflecting on the ways in which I am blinded by my own pride and prejudice. Jane Austen is still a master and I remain her faithful devotee.

Generous Justice
Tim Keller

I can't tell you how much of my theology and spiritual life have been shaped by Tim Keller. His intelligence, clarity and humility have served time and time again to point me to Christ. I wasn't as profoundly impacted by this book as I was by Prayer or Every Good Endeavour, but there was still so much biblical truth to glean from it and anecdotes that will stay with me for a long time. Tim Keller (skilfully) fleshed out a belief that I've had for a long time: Christians are called to live their lives with a radical concern for social justice. There are some incredible people out there who claim faith in no God and still go out of their way to speak up for the voiceless and ease the burdens of those who need it most. How much more should Christians work towards the same goals? We have a Saviour who put on flesh, loved and cared for the lowliest in society and then commanded his disciples to do the same. To be a Christian is to live a live of generous justice, says Tim Keller, and all God's people said Amen.

Bonhoeffer: Pastor, Martyr, Prophet, Spy
Eric Metaxas

I almost squealed with delight when I found this near-pristine biography in a Salvation Army in Wanaka (!!) on Christmas Eve. I happily forked over $5 for it and considered it an early Christmas gift to myself. I started reading it almost immediately and found it utterly compelling from the first page. Eric Metaxes is a fantastic writer, but his subject is one of the most complex, courageous figures I have ever encountered in fiction or non-fiction. I had heard of Bonhoeffer and his theological works prior to picking up this book, but I had no idea how extraordinary and prolific he really was. His affluent background was fascinating to read about and it made his resistance all the more amazing. He was a man who could have made it through the war relatively unscathed and yet he adamantly refused to bow to Hitler's idea of Germany and instead picked up a cross that would ultimately lead him to his death. It's a meaty book (it took me just over a month to get through it) but one that I would highly, highly recommend.

(Side note: I did a quick google search of Eric Metaxas and ended up scrolling through his twitter feed. I was surprised by its tone and found a lot that I didn't agree with -- he didn't fit the image I had painted in my mind. I guess it just goes to show that people are not meant for our pedestals.)

I Know Why the Caged Bird Sings
Maya Angelou

This was another re-read for me -- my friends and I are reading it as our first book-club pick of the year -- and it was another one that did not disappoint the second time around. I have no point of comparison for Maya Angelou; her style, voice and story are so utterly unique. Here is a woman who has faced unspeakable atrocities and perhaps because of that truly is a phenomenal woman. I found myself reflecting a lot on the racial injustice Maya Angelou describes and found many disturbing parallels to the situation that many in and out of the US are currently facing. This is a timeless book: read it and take note of what this incomparable woman has to say.

I have a few good books on my stack for February including Sons and Daughters of Ease and Plenty, Silence and The Reason for God.

What are you reading right now? Comment below or send me an email -- I'd love to know!